Gone too soon

My cousin died today. He was 24 years old. My mother side has been in a roller-coaster ride this week. My uncle was rushed to the hospital because of high blood pressure this weekend and then this happens.

He was the best friend (cousin) of my older brother who passed away roughly 11 years ago. They were so tight that they got into trouble most of the time together. They were so annoying but they were down right funny and I'm guessing right know they're back together having fun in heaven.

I've never seen, heard or want to see and hear the cries I heard today. It's seeing and hearing the people you care about howling in despair and you know you can't do anything about it. Many people kept saying that at least he wasn't in pain, that it was quick and that's he's in heaven but that's just it...he's gone. He's no longer here and we were just caught by surprise...it was like a big punch in your gut. Kuya JR is gone and he's never coming back.

How do you explain something like that to a three year old? How do you explain something like this to other people? What happens to living a long life and going day by day in routine? What happens to having your youngest son die in front of you? Better yet, what happens when another of your grandchildren die before you do?

What happens when another brother of yours, die?

Like my aunt said earlier today, it's like your world literally stops. It was just totally unexpected...I mean he was woken up because it was his turn to use the shower and go to work...but then he collapsed and everything changed.

Funny, that it was also our grandmother's birthday today.

This has been the longest day of my entire life and at the ride home...I wish that it would just end. Tomorrow, Kuya JR will still be dead, as well as another brother or cousin or son or grandchild or co-worker or friend or stranger out in the world. The statistics of people dying doesn't help it at all. Honestly, nothing helps this situation at all.